I need something new to outlet my emotions. Wow, if that wasn't the most Emo fucking thing ever written on here, than I don't know what is.
What I'm trying to say is, I need a new outlet for what goes on inside.
This blog is great for me, and I love it, and I am going to use it more and more, but it can only serve so much as a purpose as an outlet. I need something a bit stronger, a bit more cathartic.
I want to be in a band. I want to fucking be in the most angry band ever. I want to write songs and scream till my fucking lungs bleed. I have always wanted to do this, I've thought about it many times. It wouldn't be about being good necessarily, or even being popular, I just want to be in a band that plays basements and fucking parties, and the occasional hipster bar.
Some of you might say, "my god, are you really that angry?" And to be honest, yes and no, I'm pretty angry sometimes sure, but I have a pretty sweet life, and this is why the little things that do get me angry or upset tend to fester, because i really have no right to complain. But if I must say, all of the people I have met in heavy bands have been extremely happy, nice, content people. They use their time on stage, or behind their microphone, guitar, kit, etc, to deal with and "release" whatever it is that bothers them.
A therapy of sorts.
The only people I have met that were in sad, heavy bands, and were still sad and depressed after the music stopped, were in terrible bands that didn't actually care about their sound or what they were saying, they were just acting the part that they thought they needed to act.
One of the people that reads this blog told me the other day that they thought my blog was really good, and I thanked him for the compliment, and really it was nice to hear, but I got to thinking...am I writing this for it to be good or bad? Is this about quality? No, it isn't, and although i was glad to hear that I have people that actually read my ramblings and grumblings, I realized I don't care if this is good or bad, just like i wouldn't care about if my band was good or bad, all i would care about is whether or not it was what I wanted it to be. I think it would do a lot for my Psyche.
Or maybe i should be as cool as this kid and get a tattoo:
2 comments:
I started a rap project for the same reason...well more because I really really wanted to pretend like I'm musical in some way.
I think we all care about quality, but quality only matters if it's something we enjoy putting effort into. Probably because the idea of quality is way too subjective. Enjoyment is too, but there is a universal way of discerning someone enjoying something.
Process that one.
P.S. Get a rad tattoo of Andrew j Rider puking Cranberries on England. That would be righteous.
come train.
it is every answer you're looking for..
Post a Comment