'Alyssa'
She’s the girl who wants it.Badly.
Just look at her.
Look at the way she’s wearing that “new; old school” Edie Sedgwick short cut she spent papa’s 52 dollars and a tip on at the fancy hair salon on main.
The way she walks through the door of the restaurant, trying hard not to seem like she’s looking around to see who noticed her walk in the door, which in turn just makes it seem even more obvious. She knows she looks good, and she knows her fathers’ cash was money well spent, yet her past won’t let her believe it.
Raped at the age of 12.
Heart broken at 19.
Scarred for the duration of the flight.
She tells all of her close friends that all she wants is companionship, love, and someone to ask her how she is and really mean it. Her friends tell her she’s beautiful and petite and that she is going to have it all one day. Her past tells her she is ugly, pathetic and going no where.
She sits down at the table with another stranger she feels might give her what she wants. He’s dressed conservatively with a plain navy suit, solid blue shirt and dark blue tie. They both order the fish and sip their waters as the man talks about whatever it is he feels she might be interested in. She isn’t and it shows by her wandering eyes.
She sees a middle age couple laughing
She sees a family of five peacefully eating.
She sees nothing she recognizes.
It’s not that the man isn’t handsome, he is, and it’s not that what he is saying isn’t interesting; its just she is incessantly worried about everything around her. Like a newborn she tries to soak it all in. Like a scientist she is trying to figure out how it all fits into the formula that is her self conscious.
They finish their meals, skip dessert and leave a nice tip. The man offers his coat to her as they walk out, it has begun to rain and neither of them are the news radio type, thus they came with no umbrella. She politely accepts the offer, and flashes one of the few “soul baring” smiles of the night. They exit the restaurant and enter the rain soaked dark. I watch them as the walk rapidly outside.
Water falling from the sky.
Water hitting the black of the night.
Water flowing through her hair.
1 comment:
What I enjoyed most about this was the "flow" it had. It was enjoyable to read because it developed it's own rhythm.
Having said that, please strike or re-write the following:
"Like a scientist she is trying to figure out how it all fits into the formula that is her self conscious."
I see where you were going with that section, but that line just kills the flow.
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